Life as a Lindquist: Being a Mom

Last night Faith and I spent the evening just the two of us while her dad attended his first grad school class. In the mere three hours we were together, there were a lot of ups and downs (such is the life of an almost two-year-old I guess). To paint a clearer picture:

I got my usual reaction when I picked her up from daycare. She runs and jumps into my arms, gives me a bear-hug and says, "my mommy." - UP HIGHLIGHT

Faith and I split an apple on the drive home. Each time I handed her a bite, she said "Tank ouu, Mommy!" - UP (Manners are the cutest!)

When we got home, she climbed in the driver's seat while I was unloading groceries and refused to get out of the car. - DOWN

She yelled "NO!" every time I tried to walk down the hallway where she was pushing her baby stroller. When I reprimanded her, she burst into tears. - BIG DOWN

I made her dinner, which she ate, and then when I sat down to eat mine, she wanted my sandwich and asked for more "Yettuce." - BIG UP, even if I got hungry around 9 p.m. (She willingly ate a veggie!)

She was jumping off a stepstool and "tooted" as we say in our household. When I asked her if Faithy tooted, she replied, "Nooooo." When I died laughing, she giggled right along with me and let out another toot. - HILARIOUS UP

She stopped in the middle of everything and said, "Where Daddy go?" -HEARTBREAKING DOWN. (We both missed him.)

We had a tickle wrestle match. Faith is the worst tickler ever, but it's fun to watch her try. - UP

She accidentally fell, scratched herself or bumped into something about three times and got an owie. - DOWN

We rocked and read books together before bedtime, something I hope she never gets too old for. - UP

While I was recounting our night to Rob, I realized it was motherhood in a nutshell. There was joy, disappointment, heartbreak, pride, love, discipline, sacrifice, bonding, independence and fun.

I wanted to be a mom since I can remember. I wanted to bring someone into this world who was created out of love. I wanted the responsibility of raising someone who will make her own positive mark on this world. I wanted a baby because, long after I'm gone, my legacy will be what I left behind, and what better to have left behind than a purposeful life and the lives that follow. I wanted to be a mom because I wanted to give Faith a childhood. How awesome is it to get to experience childhood twice, once as a kid, and then once through the eyes of your daughter. I wanted to be a mom because I knew my mom would be a great grandma and she hasn't disappointed. I wanted children because I didn't get to live with my siblings growing up and I always longed for a partner in crime. I hope we can give that to Faith someday. But I think I mostly wanted to be a mom because of my mom. The bond we share is such a gift to me that I couldn't help but want to share it with my own daughter someday. Being a mom is by far the most meaningful thing I have done and probably will ever do. Sure I doubt myself sometimes, I am exhausted by 8 o'clock each night and my house looks like the inside of Toys R Us on the day after Thanksgiving, but I would not want it any other way. Being a mom is everything to me. Do I worry too much, sleep to little and have a body that will never be the same? You bet. But did I ever imagine how much fun it would be to hear Faith learn to talk...did I envision the conversations Rob and I have in which we marvel at her, did I ever think I could love anyone like her? Not for a second. I hope someday Faith will share in the amazing, challenging, but mostly amazing experience that is motherhood.