I HATE Photoshopped Christmas cards. Not the ones where you Photoshop someone in who wasn't there...no, that doesn't bother me. It's the ones in which "oh, we couldn't get everyone to smile at once, so we just took a bunch of pictures and ta-da, look how happy we are." That is not real life. Real-life is trying to take your Christmas photo right before your 18-month-old's dinnertime, right after your dog gets home from dental surgery, while your husband is missing out on football games and daylight is fading in your living room. Did I mention the mother/wife figure in this story wants to do four outfit changes because she thinks "it'd be fun"? (I know, I'm sick in the head).
Put on those things together and this is what you get.
|Howie: "Is this seriously happening right now?"|
|forgot to suck it in|
|blurry and why is Faith's diaper showing?|
|Faith: "I do not want to be here right now."|
|One of Rob's only real smiles. This was early in the process.|
|Too dark. Faith looks like she's in one of those depressing 1800s photos.|
|Howie: "No really, why are we doing this now?"|
|Why yes, that is actually one of my argyle shirts Faith is wearing. So much for this theme.|
|Howie: "Damnit, do you want my sweater on or off?"|
|Seriously, why is this so damn hard.|
|Rob and I are getting further apart. How poetic.|
|This was a front runner for a while.|
|Is that a hint of a smile, Faith?|
|No, we're not done yet.|
|Rob's pissed the doorbell rang.|
|Are we giving up?|
|This one's actually good. Quit while you're ahead.|
|You just HAD to blink, Rob. Take one for the team next time.|
|Rob's smile is getting faker.|
|Another potential keeper. NO really, quit while you're ahead.|
|Me: Take the damn picture. |
Faith: How's this, Mom?
Rob: I'm wearing a freaking Santa hat...get this overwith.
Howie: Why today of all days?
|I'm happy, really.|
|The only photo we ended up using on our Christmas card. Oh well, there's always next year.|
If you need to laugh at another family, here's one of my favorites and their Christmas card outtakes.